Gendersaurus Rex

My cousin expressed interest in seeing this, so I decided to post it on my blog for safekeeping just incase my computer ever crashes.

Last, I came out to my mom on the phone, before I could finish the letter that I later sent my parents. I will post the letter to the parents in a seperate entry.
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Facebook Message to the cousins:

Hey cousins!! I love you!!! I hope all of you are doing fantastic!
I am sure by now you have noticed the name change on my facebook profile. I wanted to offer up some dialouge about this, because you guys are so important to me, and I really would like you to be a part of my life for ever and ever I feel safe talking to you about this, but I want you to know that I have to put the burden of not talking about this to your parents or my parents. I understand this can be hard, but I am not ready to discuss this very personal matter with my parents yet, and things can get really complicated otherwise (in terms of their reaction and what they choose to do/think). Anyways….About the name change – I am coming out as transgender. This means that I feel comfortable with a male identity, male name, male pronouns. I know, weird to think about, but I have never felt happier in my life right now. This DOES NOT mean that I have a desire to physically transform my body currently. However, this does mean that I have the disability of not having my gender and assigned sex align (sometimes described in the metaphore of as being a guy trapped in a girl’s body). I know you have all known me as [birth name] for many many years, and this news can certainly come as a shock. Because you guys mean so much to me, I really want to open up some dialouge so that I am able to be who I really am with you and so that we all can continue to be awesomely close as ever. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed which is why I am not calling you individually, but if you want to call me, that’s cool – or facebook-ing is cool too. Also, I am totally open to questions…just know I am fucking nervous and scared and trying to learn how to love myself right now, so sometimes it can be really hard. I mean, trust me, I have been “trying not to be trans” for the past two years now, and it has caused me a plethora of emotional turmoil. Long story short… please contact me about this when you are ready to have a conversation.
I love you guys,
[Huck], October 8, 2008

Facebook Responses October 9, 2008:

First of all I want you to know that I am so not freaked out or weirded out or anything like that. I’m super supportive of whatever is necessary for you to be happy. I actually thought that you were coming out as transgender when I saw your name change. I’m in a class right now called “trans bodies and politics” so I know all about this and how you feel. I’ve been taking gender and womens studies classes since freshman year. So yeah, if you ever need a family member to talk to who you know doesn’t have any problem with who you are you can totally call me or whatever. I love you!!
-Erin, Oct 9 2008

1) i LOVE the name [Huck]!!!
2) it’s so much harder to love yourself than to love others, and whatever helps you on the path to love yourself is definitely something you should pursue!
3) i’m glad you feel comfortable talking about this and that it makes you so happy – to me, it’s no change at all! you’re always my cousin, whether your name is [birth name], [name #2], [Huck], apple sauce, pillbox, etc. and whether you have beautiful boobies or a penis (even though you said you don’t want one lol), it really wouldn’t make any difference to me cuz you’re my fav cousin cuz you’re AWESOME, not cuz of your boobies, although they are quite lovely
4) i talked to my mom about visiting, but i haven’t talked to my dad yet – mine and his schedules have never been so conflicting. but don’t worry, i will arrive on your doorstep within several months and we can have mucho amounts of fun
5) thanks for the lovely facebook e-mail and honesty, but hey, no need to be so formal with me hahaha, just be like “[Huck] represents me best” and i’ll be like “word up son.” and then we can talk in depth in person (cuz we will see each other in person sooon yayayayay!)
congrats on the progress you’ve made in learning to love yourself ♥ as cheesy as it may sound, just remember that you have family and friends that will love you no matter what!
LOVE YOU LIKE WHOA!!!!!!!! ♥
-Jessica, Oct 9 2008

I love you and think you are one of the most awesome people I have ever met and I am so lucky you are my cousin. No matter what.
-Kerry Ann, Oct 9 2008

I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your initial message, like a year ago, sharing the news of your decision. I just wanted to know that I support you 100% and hope nothing but the best for you. Thank you for keeping me in the loop, it is good to hear what is going on with you. To your message last week: I’m not going to be able to make thanksgiving. My best friend is getting married in Mexico the weekend after TG and I’m his best man. I really miss all of you guys and hope it’s not another two years before we are able to see each other again. Good luck with your HRT, I’ll be checking your blog. I love you!
-Ian, Feb 13 2009

Hi, [Huck]! Hope you are doing well! Just wanted to let you know that I am so proud of you for taking this step to become who were always meant to be! I can’t wait to read all about your transformation in your blog! I wish you the best of luck and hope that we can get together soon. I feel so detached from my dad’s side of the family that I really want close that gap. Hopefully all the cousins can get together soon! Love and miss you and if you ever need to escape, you always have a place to stay at my apartment! xoxox
-Kierstin, Feb 10 2009

Not all my cousins responded. I have a lot of cousins.

Hey, it’s okay — I don’t blame you for being terrified about the idea of telling other people/talking about it. I have problems discussing this sort of thing too, and I won’t initiate a conversation if you’re not comfortable with it yet. Fall break starts tomorrow, so if it’s cool, I might give you a call sometime this weekend.
Trans rights is actually an issue I feel very strongly about, as I don’t believe in the binary and identify as a gender variant individual myself. I feel like I can relate to the FTM community in some ways, as I lean much more toward the male side of things than I do the female. I’m not sure if this will ever develop into a need to transition, but at the very least, I do understand gender dysphoria.
So yeah, I just want you to know that I’m behind you 100%, and I hope this will bring you the happiness and peace with yourself that you deserve. I love the name change. ♥
-Kimi (not one of my cousins)

Wall Posts:

Kathleen wrote at 8:06pm
You may have had a shit-tastic day, but I’m proud of you. Not for the shit-tastic day, but for being Yourself.

Gabrielle wrote at 12:53pm
[Huck], you are amazing and inspiring and I love you a whole, whole lot.

Scarlett wrote at 10:02am
name change AGAIN!?I am not surprised. lol
:p we must get together soooooooon!!!!!!

Jessica wrote at 1:00am
Jess ♥ [Huck] forever!

Livejournal Post:

For those of you that haven’t yet noticed the facebook name change…. I am coming out as trans. I love all of you, and value all of you, and greatly desire to have any conversation you wish to have with me about this. Please email, facebook message, or call me if you’d like to talk. I’m a bit too nervous and scared to initiate dialouge myself right now… Oh, and I just came out to all of my cousins. I wish I had the strength to have actually called them over the phone. But just facebook-ing was enough to make me start bawling. Thanks again Ethan and Natalie for your amazing group hug right after. <3

Livejournal Responses:

Ethan:
<3 Any time

Kim:
*HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS* I'll always be there for you too, you know that. =)

Megan:
I hope this doesn't come out as anything but supportive...But I have been waiting for you to do this for a while now. I still totally love you and support you and you are always welcome here. Gotta love the "T" as much as everyone else in the alphabet soup.
*hugs*
Good luck!

Emily:
i had been hoping you might be able to, someday. i'm really happy for you. it was four years ago (and a handful of months) when i did this, and i still remember how hard it was to tell some people. in fact there's a couple of people i STILL have yet to tell... coming out might be the biggest hurdle.

Kari:
Hey hon. I know we already talked a bit over facebook about it, but if you want to talk more, you know I'm here. I hope things are going well for you.

Caleb:
i love you, [Huck], and think you're just about the bravest guy ever right now.

Gabby:
Oh, honey, I don't give two shits about your gender or sexuality. You're one of my best friends in the world, and I love you unconditionally. Period. *clings to you* I'm really proud of you, and I can't wait to talk about this in person, hopefully soon!

Phillip:
True freedom is the freedom to be who you really are, and you are a rare soul to embrace that truth. That's amazing and remarkable and I'm very proud of you. And [Huck] is a cool name, good choice.

Shawna:
<3<3<3! Love ya lots, Irish boy and lover of hounds! I'm so glad you're feeling so much better lately. And, I second what Caleb said. You are rpetty much the bravest guy ever right now. *HUGS*

Kitty:
I think you already know how I feel but I thought I would post a lj comment to make it official, you know? I love you and support you in whatever you find to be the truth in you. I am behind you 100 percent and I have to thank you for the chance to know because it has taught me alot and continues to add the the beauty of my life. You're one of the coolest and most awesomest (you're so cool you inspire made up words in me) people I know and don't ever change.
<3!

Ellen:
[Huck]>[old name]. :]
This takes a lot of courage.

Filed under: All Posts, Transition, Uncategorized