Two Months
Today marks me being on Testosterone for two months. So, here are some changes I have noticed:
1. Voice – Keeps getting lower, and is at its lowest point in the later hours of the day. It’s cracking less, and staying at a lower “normal” range as opposed to going back to the pitch were it was when I was pre-T, and dropping at night.
And because I finally figured out how to do this, I will post my one month voice post. It seriously sounds the same as the two month voice post, though I imagine it is probably because when I recorded the one month voice post, it was at night (when my voice was worn out and deeper), while my two month voice post was recorded mid-day when my voice was at an even level, and not worn out. For a pre-T voice, see my shot video.
2. Hair – The hair above my lip is darkening! It’s not coarse or anything, but is darker, and if you look closely, you can notice it. Hair on my legs is getting thicker.
3. Body – Muscles are getting bigger without exercise. My body fat is redistributing, so I am “squaring out” a bit. It’s nice because all my clothes are starting to fit properly.
4. Period – Has officially stopped! YAY!
5. Mental – I watched Rent the other night, and didn’t cry. Normally I at least shed a few tears when I watch it, if not bawl. But this time nothing. I did, however, feel the same level of empathy as before. So my feelings haven’t changed, but my ability to express them seems to have slightly shifted. Interesting.
Filed under: All Posts, Transition
having not seen you in months, i can tell a definite change in your voice. so much deeper, and the inflection has changed as well. sounds great, and i love the pictures too. i’m so happy for you!
Cool stuff!
You know…I’m always a little wary when people talk about mental/emotional effects of “male” or “female” hormones, because the differences have historically been exaggerated to the point of ridiculousness, and usually to the detriment of the female-identified person. I dunno. The whole “hormones making wimmin irrational/emotional” thing has been used against us so many times that it’s a sensitive topic for me personally. Then again, my ass ain’t on T.
VERY cool to read about your experiences! I hope you continue monthly updates!
I kind of always thought the emotional deal stemmed from the greater corpus callosum tissue possessed of XX’s. Like the two hemispheres are more connected so we’re more expressive of what we’re feeling?
I ramble. You look great– the pictures show a more square build, fo sho’. And to me your face looks more male somehow– less round, maybe? Features are looking more chiseled. I can’t wait to see you in your next show!
Yeah, I was really hesitant to write about the mental things I felt because, I too was wary of reenforcing unnecessary social norms.. However, I feel like what I wrote about here still hasn’t changed much, and is a common sentiment among other transmen that I’ve spoken to. I am going to have to relearn how to express certain feelings because instead of crying I just really angry (mostly frustration just over not being able to cry like I used to).
That being said, I don’t think women are overly emotional, or the anti-stoic. I just think that there is a difference in the way we process and handle our emotions based on the hormonal make-up of our minds. Dually, I could be feeling these things precisely because I am transgender and on T. I wonder if my feelings/ability to express them would be the same if I were a cisgender male?
I don’t think the hormones will be the be-all-end-all of my ability to express myself. I just have to relearn certain things – like crying.